Ultimately, what you are seeking will not be found in books, teachers, practices, prayer, self-improvement, or through more information. We don’t like to hear that.
We are waiting for someone or something to enlighten us. The trouble is, some “one” or some “thing” cannot do that. We cannot even do it for “ourselves”! What we are seeking is Unconditioned Awareness; that which exists beyond thought, beyond striving, beyond doing, beyond the mind and emotions. We cannot think ourselves into enlightenment.
What we can do is create the optimal conditions that would allow us to become aware that we already are Unconditioned Awareness.
Conditioned awareness (our usual day-to-day thinking and feeling) exists within Unconditioned Awareness. They are not separate states, one is within the other. It is one state!
Regardless of our temporary and impermanent thinking and feeling on a moment to moment basis, we are still within Unconditioned Awareness. We simply are not aware of this. We think we have to get from here to there. There is only here; unconditioned Awareness. We already are that!
Ask yourself, “Who is it that is having a particular thought or a particular feeling?” The answer will probably be “me”. Then ask yourself, “Who is having this “me” thought (it’s just another thought)?” You might respond with “me” again. So who is having this “me” thought again? You will come to the realization there is no one behind the “me” thought except another “me” thought. It’s just a series of repetitive “me” thoughts. There’s no one there!
Once we realize there is a state of Awareness beyond the “me” thought, we can be open to this state of “no thought”, Unconditioned Awareness.